Day 24: Launch "The Happiness Project"....virtual book club.

I got the book "The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun"  from the library about a year ago. I just wasn't in the mood to read it at the time. Then about 3 months ago, I stumbled upon the author's blog and signed up for her daily quotes. Then I requested the book from the library again.

This time around, I am in the mood for it. And it has been a nice accoutrement to my little challenge. It's thought provoking, yet not overly so. It's motivational, but doesn't seem overwhelming. It's a fun read, but not one that I love so much, that I needed to read it in one sitting. Which makes this book more poignant to me, because I read a little and ponder it. And take a break, and then read some more. It's totally working for me.

That said, I don't love every bit of it. But that's the beauty of an inspirational/motivational/self improvement book. You take the pieces that speak to you and you incorporate those ideas into your own life. Hopefully, it helps you become better, happier, kinder, more patient, etc.

So, I decided to spread the word on this book and invite a gaggle of friends to read it. I will buy them each a copy of the paperback edition (it's on pre-order now @ Amazon!) and we will have a virtual book club.

All I ask of my participants is that they do -3- things:

• Read the book by the end of May.
• Let me know what they think about the material, via email, phone, or getting together for coffee or lunch. Potentially, we could meet as a group if everyone wants to. I also plan to create a Facebook page where they can comment as they are reading it. 
• Pay it forward. Once they are done, I ask they pass on the book to someone they know who will enjoy it. And then, that person would be asked to pass it on, as well.

I've got about -9- GF's signed up for the virtual book club and I plan to talk my -2- sisters into it. Plus, I'm perfecting my sales pitch for a few friends who are "on the fence", so to speak. :) If any of my readers want to participate, too, let me know. I can't buy books for everyone, but I'd love to know if you are reading it.

I don't want to give too much away...but one of the parts of the book I LOVED was a discussion on the "arrival fallacy". This is the belief that when you arrive at a certain destination, you'll be happy. Examples are :buying a house, having a baby, landing the job, getting married, etc. The truth of the matter is that arriving at the end goal really just brings about new challenges and new goals. Because "Now that I have the job, I have to do well at the job. Now that I have the house, I need to buy things for it. Now that I'm married, I have to figure out how to be a good spouse". Etc. Etc. Etc. Hence, the arrival doesn't usually make you feel as happy as you thought it would. The goal, then, is to enjoy the process of happiness. How does one do this? According to the author, it's simple: "Enjoy Now".

I like to think of it as the stages of happiness. If grief gets stages (and there are 7 of those!), why can't happiness have more than one phase? Hmmph! So, the Happy Phases, as I see them, are:

• Process of the goal. This is the "Enjoy Now" part. Working towards something, using your skills and engaging in life can definitely make me feel happy.
• Anticipation of reaching the goal. This is the imagination part - where you visualize it and feel excited.
• Fulfillment of actually attaining the goal. Because there is some happiness there, for sure.
• Reflecting back on the process and re-visiting the moment of attainment. Memories are a form of happiness, right? An example: when throwing a party, do you feel happy? Or are you too focused on making sure everyone else is having a good time to actually enjoy yourself? This is another example of how happiness can be delayed. The actual moment of participation can be stressful or chaotic, but remembering the party or looking at photos of the same party can make you feel happy, after the fact. The author refers to this as "fog happiness". Meaning, it's always around you, but if you try to examine it, it's elusive.         .

It's not rocket science or even deep psychology, my friends, but it's a framework to help identify and acknowledge the art of happiness in a way that is tangible, hopeful, and all encompassing. It's not an end goal, it's a process.

Happiness is not all or nothing, black or white. Rather, it's all beautiful shades of gray and it's up to each of us to find it in our daily lives. Yes, your daily life should bring you some measure of  happiness. And as the author outlines in her "Secrets of Adulthood" principles  " Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy". Paradoxical, but I get it. I really do.

And I like it.