Day 40: Light a candle in memory and gratitude to my Momma!

Drum Roll......I made it! To the Big Finale! The last task! All dunna!

And I am now Forty/40/XI!!

Woo and a Hoo, as I am known to say.

No more FB posts alerting the world what I am doing that day, no more fretting "when will I have time to blog about it?"...(And here I am, posting the final -2- blog posts 2+ weeks after the project ended. Well, my friends, better late than never, yes?)

Back to today's task: To light a candle in memory of my mom and in gratitude of my life. How I would loved to have spent the day with her, reminiscing and chatting about my first forty. I bet she would have been a little freaked that her "baby" was turning 40.

We recently had a birthday party for Sydney (she's a Pisces too!) and my older brother and sister were here. The next day my brother texted me this message "You are doing a wonderful job with your girls. I see more of Mom in you with each visit".  Wow. I can't think of a higher compliment. Really.

Because my birthday morning was a little busy, I was not able to make it to Mass on Ash Wednesday as I'd hoped. Jeff had planned some relaxing spa time for me at Gene Juarez so I had to bring in a friend to help out. My dear friend, Kelley, got the candle lighting started and I finished up in the evening with Jeff and the girls, with a private candle lighting at home and some moments of silence. It was nice. Simple moments with intense intention - gotta love those.

These forty days really just flew right on by. Like sands in the hourglass, these are the Days of Our Lives (I've always wanted to say that!)

Thanks to everyone who read the blog and cheered me on. And made comments! I loved the comments. Anyone who has ever blogged or is a blog follower loves getting comments. It's a weird sort of validation. In my case, this blog was more for me, to have a record of my shenanigans and to be able to show my kids one day. Nevertheless, it was nice to know people took the time to leave me a little somethin'-somethin'! Thank you.

Many, many thoughts ran rampant through my brain during this -40- in -40- project. But the one that remained stalwart was this:

Growing older is not a birthright, it's a privilege.

Amen to that, y'all. Hells to the Yeah, people!

There's several people I can think about that did not get that privilege. Mostly, I think of my dear high school friend, Jeff, who did not live to see 40, or even get to see his son grow up or grow old-er with his wife, Melissa. Horribly, horribly sad.  I was so moved that many of his buddies got together to celebrate Jeff's "would be 40th" last August.  Wish I could have joined them. 

There's people that simply live life to the fullest, that lift others up and make the world a more enjoyable place to be.  Jeff was one of those people. Sadly, it seems like the ones that burn the brightest, usually burn the briefest. It's in their memory - in their honor, really- that we should all subscribe to the belief that every day is a gift. A beautiful tragic wonderful crazy mesmerizing daunting precious mind-blowing emotional roller coaster of a gift.

That's what I know for sure...and I am grateful beyond measure.

Namaste.

Day 39: Make 3 Phone Calls.

I did it. I made the -3- telephone calls.

It was fine. And I'm sure the people I chatted with were like "Why are you CALLING me"?

But, it hasn't changed my perspective one iota. I am not a phone person and never will be. I'd just rather see people when I am talking to them.  I'd also like to know that my audience is offering up their undivided attention AND I'd like to return the favor.

Most people I know are extreme multi-taskers. So, I don't think I am off base when I say that when they are talking to me on the phone they are also probably doing one (or two, or three) of the following: checking their email,  making dinner or lunch, folding laundry, making a to do list, talking to their husbands (Mel, that's you!), painting their nails, looking at a magazine, checking TMZ to see what antics Charlie Sheen is up to today, etc.

And I think, in general, people are losing their listening skills. And I GET it - there are so many distractions out there. But I really want to be a good listener to those I care about and I expect the same. And don't even get me started on cell phone reception. Combine poor reception with a "Quiet Talker" and I just about lose my marbles...

I'd rather send an email with my thoughts/ideas/feelings than have a 1/2 assed conversation on the phone. Or make a quickie phone call to set up a face to face. But that's just me.

:)

Day 38: Play Hooky Day. Girls pick what we do!

I figure now is the time to let the girls play Hooky. Before all the standardized testing begins and before they don't want to skip school to hang out with their Mom. Technically, Syd wasn't playing hooky per se, since she doesn't have preschool on Mondays, but it was a break for her from the normal errands that fill up our Monday mornings. (If I hear "I hate errands" one more time, I just may lose it...)

I'm heading out of town for a few days later this week (Florida sunshine, here I come!!!) so I wanted to have some QT (quality time) with my hooligans. That's why I saved this task for the end of the challenge.

And, it was a total Good Time. This is how it went:

Holly slept until 8:26. She came downstairs and was like "Mom, don't I need to get ready for school?" Sydney screamed "Mom, has a surprise! She made Mickey Mouse pancakes!" (Syd did not know the true "secret" yet...)

Then I told them "YOU GET TO PLAY HOOKY FROM SCHOOL AND YOU GET TO PICK WHAT WE DO TODAY!!!!!" and this was their reaction:

Awesome.

The rest of the day played out in this fashion:

8:30 Holly eats Pluto Pancakes with chocolate chips. Syd ate her Mickey Mouse ones at the crack of dawn. Dang, if that girl doesn't want breakfast by 6:30 a.m!

8:45  Girls watch an episode of iCarly

9:15  10:15  I break out this "Paint Spinner" thing and the girls make some snazzy art. Holly also paints a pre drawn canvas. I break up 150 small fights about whose turn it is on the spinner thingy.

10:30  Spontaneous Dance Party. The girls reaallllyyy like JLo's new song "On the Floor". Thanks, American Idol.

10:45 Girls watch Sponge Bob. I. Hate. That. Show.

11:00 Finally get dressed; all of us. We Neumanns take jammies pretty seriously! 

11:15 - 12:30  Saint Edwards playground. We mostly had it to ourselves. It was COLD! Girls had sooo much fun! My fingers were numb.

12:40  McDonalds for lunch. Happy Meals for them, salad for moi.

1:00- 1:45 Girls play at McDonalds toy. Bring on the Purell! We run into the Hudson family so I got to enjoy some adult conversation with Cynthia. Kids got to play with Darcy and Brooksie. YAY for unexpected fun!

2:00 Home for more art paint spinning. Girls run around and play "House".

2:40 Into swimsuits and we head to the gym pool for swimming.

3:05  Jeff jumps into the pool at gym and surprises Syd and Holly (I knew he was coming but was keeping it a surprise!)  Happy Girls. Very cute.

3:45 Coerce girls out of pool. Jeff finished his laps. Head for home!

At this point, having gotten nothing done all day, except for (as Syd described it) "hanging out and having fun",  I make some dinner and we talk about starting homework and bath and regular type day things.

Consensus, however,  seems to be it was a damn good day :) The girls picked very simple, good clean fun type activities. Nothing out of the ordinary. I love it. They are so easily amused. And they really like each other. Sister Friends. That's what I call them. They are so blessed with that!

I documented with photos, naturally...that's how I roll!  If the girls ever forget how totally awesome their Mom is, I can whip out these pics and show 'em that Dad isn't the only fun one in da house! :)

Day 37: Write myself a love letter.

I've basically written this letter and it's in my head. I thought it about a lot on Sunday when I was at Sacred Yoga.  When the instructor said during class (when we were in Fierce/Chair pose) "Show yourself Fierce Love"...I about died. Is she a mind reader AND my yoga guru? How can this be!

I had a huge smile on my face after she spoke and she looked right at me. She must think I am a lunatic. Or she wants to be my best friend. Either way, it's all good.

It's true that I would not have had so much to say to myself had I not done this challenge/project. 

It's also true that many crazy coincidences have occurred in the last 40 days. Things I needed to hear from people, or say to people, or write to people, or things I needed to come into contact with or experience, or things I needed to think more deeply about - all of it came into fruition. There are too many examples to cite.

I've had people I don't even know come up to me at the gym and say "Hey, are you Amy? I heard about your 40 days project and think it's awesome". Seriously, that was cool.

I've had friends encourage me just at the moment when I felt too busy/stressed/tired to do my next task.

I've also had that inner voice telling me "Do it. You Must. This is Your Life, We are Talking About".

I've read some wonderful passages in The Happiness Project that dovetailed so seamlessly with my goals/hopes for the challenge - it was a little bit freaky. I've had books "speak to me" before, but this one was practically yelling. 

And I listened. 

So, the love letter to myself is basically written and in my head. I will put it to paper this weekend when I am in Florida and can write it longhand in a special notebook. I may or may not post it on here. We'll see. I do want a written record of it for my daughters to read one day. 

If there's one thing I want for Holly and Sydney,  it is for them to love themselves without holding back. To feel their awesomeness and own that, to see their fragility (or The Power of Vulnerability! Thanks Ang, for sharing that wonderful link!) and their weaknesses and own those, too. To love and love and love without fear. To be proud of who they are and where they come from and know that they are loved immensely by their Mom.

That would be like my girls "living their own love letter". And that would rock.

Below is a link on the above mentioned "The Power of Vulnerability". It. Is. Awesome. I hope you like it. I also wanted to store it here, so I can always refer to it when I feel I need a reminder. :) FYI, it's about 20 minutes. But it's 20 minutes that really impacted me...I probably would not have been able to write that post about my father/forgiveness had I not watched it and thought about it, with intention, then watched it again, and thought about it, some more. For Reals, it's Good Stuff.
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html 

Day 36: Date Night as planned by the Hubs.

Aren't we cute?  :)

Yes, indeedy, the hubs planned a really fun Date Night. This was part of the challenge because it's a well established fact that I am the planner of the family. Vacations, gift buying, get togethers with friends/family, Date Nights....

But this task required I relinquish control and let Jeff take over. All I contributed was telling him the date I had plugged into the -40- in -40- calendar for this task.

Jeff even picked my outfit. Well, I gave him options, and the skinny jeans, tall boots, leather jacket combo was his final, final. He would have preferred I step out of the house in something more risque, but that's typical for a Man, right? :) I even wore eyeliner for the occasion! Whoa.

He picked the place for dinner and made reservations. He coordinated the overnight sitter (his mom = free = yay!) and made the after dinner plans. The girls left about 4 so we had some time to kill before we needed to leave the house. 

**** Hubba Hubba, for our eyes and ears only... :) ****

We dined at Bis on Main, in old Bellevue. Fancy, Fancy...

We shared Seared Ahi as an appie (my fave), had amazing salads, then I opted for Crab Cakes for my entree. Totally something I would not normally try. They were fab. Look at me operating outside my "normal"!  The rest of the dinner patrons were totally the old Bellevue crowd, mature and established. Lots of pearls and cardigan twin sets. I was definitely the youngest and the hippest. I told Jeff we should always eat there - HA!

After, we headed to The Parlor for a comedy show. The joint was-a-jumpin! Packed to the brim. I had not even heard of this place. The headliner was Tom Arnold. Who was quite funny. And the -2- opening comedians were realllllllly funny. One of them did a bit on what people do in their car's in traffic while listening to music. Hysterical. Tom Arnold was really likable and his Roseanne stories were pretty entertaining.  But I came away with the thought that as acrimonious as that relationship must have been, I think he still likes her. (Did anyone see Roseanne on Oprah recently? She is now a macadamia nut farm owner in Hawaii. And has a reality show about it on Lifetime. Who would have thought that would happen?!)

A comedy club was a great activity for us. We both love good stand up comics and there is just something so cathartic about giggling from your very core, isn't there?

After 1.5 margaritas on the rocks at the comedy show, I was ready to head for home after the show ended about 10:30. Jeff and Blue made a candy run so we ate some chocolate on the couch, watched something on TV (can't remember what) and enjoyed being in a kid-less house. 

Thanks, sweetie, for planning such a fun evening! MWAH!

Day 35: Re-read The Celestine Prophecy.

		I'll "fess" up here. I have not gotten to re-reading this book.

I picked too many books for the -40- in -40- challenge. What was I thinking. I am a fast reader, but SHEESH! To aggressive of a plan, in terms of literary content!

That is my ONLY regret thought about the challenge. So, that's good!

I will get to this book. I loved it when I read it 18+ years ago (it came out in '93 the year I graduated from GU. Well, I didn't "technically" graduate until 95 -but GU let me "walk" in 93- as I was short 5 credits. I got to finish those pesky last 5 credits while I was working full time and already paying off student loans. Yeah, that was fun! Not.)

Anywho, it's like an adventure story, but it's also philosophical and spiritual in nature. It's a narrative, but much more than that...

Have any of you read it? What did you think? Would you read it again?

Just curious.

Day 34: Operation Baby Books. Get on the ball!

Those of you that reviewed my list of things closely (anyone? anyone?) will notice that this task was not one of the original -40- things.

It's one I came up with along the way, mid way into the challenge.

I was recently going thru some family photographs and I was once again reminded how few baby pics there are of me. Now, I am the youngest of 5 so I GET IT. The novelty had likely worn off.  But it's kind of sad to rummage through your infancy/toddler/youth photos that were haphazardly thrown into a dusty, old cowboy boot box.

And, it suddenly dawned on me I have not even STARTED a baby book for Syd. I have some baby mementos thrown in a pretty box stored in her closet, but that's it. I framed her birth announcement but she took it off her wall, at some point, and I honestly don't have a clue where it is. Wow, I am not doing much better than my own parents, am I?

Needless to say, it seemed entirely logical to scrap the "Spontaneous Road Trip" task and add in "Operation Baby Book(s)"... Fun day trip vs. Horrible Mother Award??? Hmmmm. That's a no brainer, isn't it?

I had a brief fling with scrapbooking after Holly was born, so I've got some scrap/photo books going for Holly. By no means are they a finished product. Let's just say that fling with scrapbooking was short lived. It's just not my thing.

After the panic attack of "I'm a horrble Mother. What if I die tomorrow and there are no baby pictures for Sydney to show her own kids someday", passed and I calmed the heck down, I started organizing photos. Then the panic set in again when Jeff remarked that the hard drive on my Mac is dying and "had I thought about backing up the photos somewhere else?"

 Crap! Crap! Crap! No, I have not backed anything up. This could be a bad scenario. (If anyone has a good system in place how/where they store their digital prints, please let me know...)

4,000 deep breaths later, I realized I had to start somewhere. I decided creating a physical photo book for her would be best.  I'll deal with the potential "hard drive crashing/ all photos from the past 4 years going bye bye" scenario after this challenge is over.

Off I went to make some organizational sense of all the photos.....

Ugh, that was the most annoying part. Digital Photos everywhere - on my Mac, on the home PC, on CD's. It was like searching for a needle in a haystack to find her birth photos from Overlake Hospital.

But I found 'em. And weeded through hundreds, if not thousands, of images and narrowed it down to 255 prints to order. Boom, log onto Costco.com, order those babies up and I am on the way to "not being the worst Mother ever". Thank God.

I've only completed a bare bones book for Miss Sydney Elizabeth from birth to 15 months. But that is a good start. I've got prints through 2 years old ready to go, too. I just need another photo album to put them in.

Progress, folks, it's a beautiful thing!

The best part? Sydney LOVES this book. She's looked at it everyday, several times a day, since I put it together. She likes looking at her old crib, photos of her with no hair or with her Binky in her mouth, photos of her with her beloved stuffed elephant that she's had since she came home from the hospital. It's sooooo cute to see her looking at the photos and smiling and saying "Remember this, Mom?"

"I sure do, honey",  I say. And now she can always remember it, too...